Social Chameleonism

Lately I have been bouncing around from group to group, from dynamic to dynamic, from person to person… well, you get the point. What’s worse is that, while I enjoy the time I spend in each of the settings I am in, the environment tends to be mildly to drastically different (usually it tends to fall on the side closer to drastic). At times it feels like I’ve been living in Antarctica for a few months then suddenly moved to Peru. The velocity at which I have been doing this has almost begun to make my head spin.

I’ve always been good at making myself “fit in” or as I like to call it Social Chameleonism. In many ways I invoke this small lizard as I introduce myself to new experiences–mostly for protection, partly because I can. If I meet someone for the first time or go to an event wherein I’m the proverbial “new kid” I tend to match wavelengths rather than wander off in the corner and stay silent. This may or may not be a wavelength I’m used to or a wavelength that I enjoy, but I do it nonetheless and most times I learn to enjoy it. I don’t know if I enjoy it because of some moment of situational enlightenment or if I just…get used to it. Either way, for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been able to flit and hop from one social group to another without any group-generated stigmas waving behind me like streamers.

I haven’t quite figured why I am able to do this either. Is it because I am that open to new experiences? Or am I like some type of droid?–devoid of any personality except that which is programmed into me. I would like to think that I am not devoid of personality, but sometimes it feels that way. I often feel like a 20 sided die, showing one face to the people I’m with but with a minimal amount of effort a new face emerges to accommodate the new player. The only difference being, of course, that I can control which face I show and when… well, kind of. Much like an actual chameleon, I don’t spend much time thinking about how to modify myself to blend in. It just kind of happens naturally and I often don’t realize it until after the interaction is over.

People are constantly asking me “What are you thinking?” or “What do you think of (enter random trivial thing here)?” I usually have to laugh and tell them that I’m not thinking anything or that it doesn’t matter to me either way. Going back to my post on weaseling, this could constitute a form of said atrocity. Of course, logically, I have to have some type of a opinion through conditioned preferences, but that never really makes it high enough into my give-a-shit-o-meter (aka. whatthehellaretheygoingtothinkofme?!-o-meter) to warrant an actual response. When it’s big decision time come find me. If you want to know what I want to eat for dinner, just give up.

I know what I want so far as the important things in life are concerned, but when it comes to the small detail I don’t really put too much stock in them one way or another. I guess that’s kind of how I view most social interactions. Which could be part of the reason why I am so indecisive. On the other hand, if that is the case and I am completely apathetic to day to day fluff, why the spiritual color changing in the first place?

*pushes the derailed topic back on track*

Anyway, given the sudden influx in interaction, I keep playing mental ping pong over that pesky perception thing again. I’ve gotten much better about relaxing around my friends and acquaintances, but I still tend to slip into old habits. With my friends I’m loud and obnoxious, which is great, but I sometimes forget that not everyone I hang around knows me in that capacity. While I may be comfortable enough to revert to CrazyTiffy mode around them, they may not be comfortable enough with me for that to happen. But of course, I don’t realize this stuff until after the fact, so I spend the rest of my days thinking I’ve been put onto some giant blacklist of annoying people. Which is why I do my “color changing” in the first place I think.

Now, not all of it is driven from social anxiety of sorts. Some of it legitimately comes from my desire to network.

Which situations warrant which origin?

Your guess is as good as mine.

So now that I’m done rambling on about my AWESOME POWERS OF POPULARITY, I think I’m going to go ponder whether or not this post will make me look like an arrogant douche or (in reality) a socially awkward young woman.









For Piper:

Sexy Blog Post!


One thought on “Social Chameleonism

  1. Pingback: Odd Man Out | ...Life on Parade...

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